Thursday, April 23, 2009

Window Shopping

I just watched Grey's Anatomy and I cried. My bleeding heart cries pretty much every time I watch a child die. And I sit here tonight and think of my children. I think of my dear friend Ludivine and her daughter Josephine. And I. just. breathe. Sometimes it's too much and it spills over and I cry and I remember and I breathe and I move on, but I don't forget.

The thing I love about movies and TV Shows and now this whole blog world is the ability for me to window shop my emotions and get an idea about how I will handle one of the many situations on the silver or LCD screens. A lot of people don't like that TV shows present problems and then wrap it up in 30 minutes, or maybe spread it out across a few episodes. That's the beauty of it. Sure it's pat and perfect and isn't it convenient that that character you so identify with just happens to have the EXACT CORRECT thing to say at the EXACT PERFECT time? (crap) But as silly and contrived as TV shows and movies are, they teach us about ourselves. We'd be remiss if we didn't take the opportunity to let ourselves let go, to break down and feel, to breathe. My God if we can't do that in our own living rooms where else will we ever be able to do it? Oh there's so much more to TV/movies - the exposure to different ideas, philosophies, entertainments, personas... I get it. - I get that I'm a dork for philosophizing on television and Hollywood. But seriously, I'm right.

I'm finding the blog world to affect me differently. It's different. It's real. But it's still the same. We sit here and write about ourselves and our opinions and someone out there reads it while we window shop another life at the same time. But we learn. We experience.

I hope I gain perspective and grow my mind throughout this whole writing thing. I want to read blogs from people who don't agree with me. I hope to make someone who doesn't agree with me think differently. I want to grow this thing called humanity. I want to look past our differences, to celebrate them and cherish them, and to tolerate them. Tolerance. We need more of that. Our hearts all beat the same you know.

Speaking of hearts - my mad love to Maria at Mommy Melee. Girl - I pushed you when you were in my class. I know I pushed you. But... You. Were. Good. GOOD. BELIEVE ME. I've taught hundreds of students. I know. I can see potential for greatness. And even though you never went father down the Cuong Nhu path - I was right, way back then (my God, 10 years now?), about your potential. I am so happy to be back in touch with you. And I'm just as proud of you now as I was when you got your first green stripe and didn't pass out at the test.