Monday, August 31, 2009

BUSY - It's all caps for a reason

I want to write.

I have not had time.

It's the end of the month. Work is the hardest and busiest at the end of the month. Every month. And I took a week off in the middle of the month for vacation. I'm behind.

Hubs is pushing a newly designed freaking fantastic product to production. He's been working about 80-90 hour weeks for two weeks. He's awesome. The product is awesome. Did I mention he's brilliant too? He's tired. He has every right to be tired.

I'm sick.

Bug is sick. Bear is sort of sick. Sick sucks.

Pre-school starts tomorrow. Something that once gave me anxiety (other people caring for my children) is now making me jump with glee. We've been off a normal schedule for the summer. I am craving a normal schedule again. Please. Normalcy.

Gator football starts on Saturday. Oh please projects, work, sick, be over by Saturday. Game Day starts at 9am. I'm drooling. I. Love. Football. Season.

I solved a work problem this week that made my brain dance away in a giddy jig. I feel smart again. It was hard. The solution was COOL.

I am regaining my sense of self.

But I want to write. I have lists of posts to write. The last post I wrote was for last Thursday's Girl Talk Thursday. Girl Talk Thursday is another glimmer of fun brightness in the back of my head, in a happy place in my heart; it's me time. We are all starting something new this week. I'm excited. It's something else, something new I can contribute to, to belong in.

I lost that. It broke me. But I no longer feel bad about it. I take away my bruises, my pride, my knowledge, my belief of a better society, my hope. I like feeling this way again. Hopeful. The fighter still remains.

I struggled. And I moved on. I no longer feel defined by it.

I'm tired. I'm sick. I'm overwhelmed at how BUSY I am, we are.

And I'm happy.


Anonymous September 2, 2009 at 11:11 AM  

I love that good, productive busy. Like you are right on the edge of losing it, but then you see what you have accomplished and then it's all good. I am sorry you and the little dudes are sick. Hopefully the funk will leave your home quickly so everyone can feel better! xoxo

Cat September 4, 2009 at 8:45 AM  

Aww, hope y'all are feeling better!