Saturday, August 15, 2009

Road Trip Day 2

Day #2 of our trip started out really well considering both boys slept great in the hotel. Bear woke up at 6am, per usual, but I pulled him in to bed with me and we didn't get up until 7:20.

Two miles up the road from our hotel we knew there was a Chik-fil-a for breakfast and a drive thru Starbucks for me so we immediately got back off the highway, and that's when our GPS started flipping out. The road with the food joints was really close to the highway and at first I think the thing was confused. It just kept saying "recalculating, recalculating, recalculating" so I humored her and said "it's ok, I just want to get some food and coffee." She was not pleased and I finally yelled at her "I HAZ PRIORITIES! I NEED COFFEE!" and then we muted her. Hubs laughed at me.

Seriously I love the GPS but there's got to be a way to tell it to stop freaking out, I just want coffee and then we'll drive the highlighted route. It's cool. I'm not lost at the moment.

The car ride was long today. We had been in a car for two days and what was supposed to be only 4.5 hours of driving turned in to 8 with bathroom breaks and food for lunch, plus traffic. Dear God the traffic. We hit Baltimore at rush hour. On Friday. GOOD GOD it sucked. But here's the best part of the day...

Right as we hit the outskirts of the city Bug declares "I have to poop!" and hubs and I just died because he couldn't have picked a worse possible time or place. We were literally in the industrial area of the city. But the kid's got to poop, yo so we have to find a place. You know, we have a GPS. So the first exit is about 200 ft after the toll booth. We pay the toll, then get off the highway and arrive in the train yard. Bug is thrilled to see the trains but still wiggling in his seat. Hubs looks around and declares "Crap, we can't get back on the highway from here." We realize that we have to backtrack to pick up the highway again and yes, pay another toll. That was the best $2.00 the city ever made from us the first time. 200 ft and then off the road. (fuming here)

So I tell the GPS to find us a gas station. And we drive about 7 miles through the train yard and gravel piles until we get to a Citgo gas station. It looks... well... awful. But I bravely get Bug out and we go inside. I don't see a bathroom anywhere. So I ask the guy "Do you have a bathroom for my son to use?" "NO." And he waves his hand at me, not making eye contact. Furious I take the advice of another patron and walk Bug to the car shop on the same property. I ask 3 "English is not my first language" men if they have a bathroom my son can use and they say "try the Citgo. He has one." I think I might cry, load Bug back in the car, and resist the urge to give them all the finger because we are not in the best area of town and I'm really not feeling all that safe and secure.

Hubs says he found a McDonalds on the GPS. We head down the road but the GPS doesn't tell us which direction to go at the next light. We go left. Mistake. "Recalculating... turn right." Hubs turns right and my stomach sinks as hubs immediately says "hell no" and begins to do a U-turn in the street. The roads are littered with clothing and trash as far as we can see and there are so many people loitering. It was sad and scary. I hate to say we were in a really nice, new van with out of state plates, and I was holding a GPS. Seriously - all signs pointed to LOST MUTHA-FUCKERS TAKE ADVANTAGE IF YOU MUST.

We turned around and drove up the road and found a Seven-11. I take Bug inside and find a sign on the bathroom that said "For Employees ONLY." I just looked at the employee and was like "Please let my son use your bathroom." Thankfully she did, just in time. No accidents! We left, wove back through the train yard, paid our $2.00 toll AGAIN and then sat in traffic forever.

Oh and neither child napped in the car even though Bear really wanted to. So when we arrived at 4:55pm, the kids were overtired, overstimulated and hungry. Triple fail. It was a long day. Luckily we were with our family and friends and that made the trek worth it.


averygoodyear August 16, 2009 at 3:31 PM  

Dudette. Your GPS, it is the fail.

I'm glad, however, that you escaped the armpit of Baltimore relatively unscathed. Isn't that like... one of the most dangerous cities in the entire US? (Yeah, thanks Tatiana, you're so helpful)

colleen August 19, 2009 at 2:54 PM  

Thank godness he made it! Honestly I despise those GPS things. LOL Hope the rest of your trip is smooth as butter baby!

colleen August 22, 2009 at 7:39 PM  

babe, i'm missin ya.... fo realz... safe travels.