Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Workplace Griping

Has it really been almost two weeks since I posted last? What's wrong with me?

But it's Thursday! Girl Talk Thursday. I missed last week too and that makes me sad.

Today we're venting about jobs. Goodness I have stories.

  1. I worked at Office Depot my Freshman through Junior years of college. I actually loved this job until we got a new manager at our store who thought he was the bomb. You know, the type that goes all power trippy in a management position? One night I was closing and part of my responsibilities was to clean the bathrooms. Well I got a migraine, complete with loss of vision and vomitting. I asked to leave early, like 30 minutes before the store closed. He asked me to stay in case someone needed to make a damn copy in the copy center. (Isn't he supposed to know how to do that?) So I agreed to stay (no one came in, which was good because I was curled over the counter trying to die.) At 9pm when the store closed I got my stuff and started to head out and he said "Oh, you have to clean the bathrooms still." Yup. He saw me barf but made me clean the bathrooms. I quit the next week.

  2. My first professional job outside of college lasted 5 years to the month when I was let go due to the economy (this was nearly 5 years ago, yikes!) There were times I hated it but now, looking back, I have only fond memories. I am still in regular contact with several people still working there too. There are too many crazy stories to tell about this place but here are a few to highlight the, well, interesting times.

    • My first boss there, another woman, and I didn't see eye-to-eye on a lot of ways to complete tasks. One day she cornered me in my office and told me that no one else liked me at the office and I should stop trying to be friends with everyone.
    • One co-worker blurted out in the middle of a meeting that I had an ugly face and skin problems. Later we found out he was diagnosed with a serious mental disorder which sort of excuses the outburst but nevertheless doesn't dispel the sheer mortification I felt when everyone turned to stare at me. I watched that same co-worker throw a mug of hot coffee on a wall, take relaxer pills, followed 1 hour later by 3 shots of expresso to pick himself back up for a presentation, take his captain's chair off the hinges in the company minivan and turn it around (while someone else was driving 70 mph down the Interstate) and then fall asleep and snore loudly, all on the same day. At the time no one knew he was sick so to say that day was uncomfortable is a gross understatement.
    • Another co-worker, and good friend, who happened to tell the best joke about a big black vibrator, killed himself on December 16, 2002 and I was the first one to the office (no it wasn't done at the office) to find the notes he left for me and several other people. I miss him. There was a lot of fallout from that, hatchets buried, friendships solidified, friendships lost - no one really had a good way to cope with that grief in the office. It was a really dark time.
    • We had a stapler policy which documented at exactly what point in the stapler clip you should extract the remaining staples and insert a brand new clip of staples, discarding the partially used clip.
    • We had a personal hygiene policy document that detailed how to wash your hands and when it was appropriate to do so.
    • A third party reseller who was attending a conference in our office asked my co-worker to rub ointment on some sores on his back. (this still makes me cringe to think about!)

    True Highlights though?

    • My husband and I started dating and got married while we worked there.
    • I made several life friends there who I miss dearly since we moved away.
    • I perfected my miniature golf game during our Friday morning sales meetings and hubs and I didn't pay to go to the movies for almost a year (going once or twice a month) because I won so many movie tickets.

  3. I then spent 6 months working in a hell hole with a boss who I believed was a stripper in a former life (maybe not former?) and whom everyone believed slept her way to the top. She was a complete bitch who once lambasted me for saying "Yup, no problem" as a response to her asking me to please close the door on my way out of her office. I was told that "Yup, no problem" was not a professional way to speak to someone superior to me. Read: TOTAL. BITCH. I spent my entire 6 months there mastering my Excel skills and making sure all my columns of sales forecasts added up to NINE in this bizarre system created by the founder of the company. (I still have nightmares about the nines.)

  4. In my last job another female co-worker was jealous that I got to do the "cool" administrative crap and she was "stuck" making copies and answering phones (hello? I did that too but yes, I made more per hour than her, by 50%!) She and I were really good friends but when I came back from maternity leave, leave where she got to do a lot of my tasks and then I took them back over, she got all weird. And the company was not doing well (read: Real Estate Broker who spent money he didn't have and didn't make any sales either.) which made for a lot of speculation on whether one or both of us would be let go. Do you see where this is going? She took it upon herself to run around to our boss and other co-workers to tell them things I had vented to her about previously (and privately). But the awesome thing? She HATED these people too. But it wasn't like I was dishing out her "secrets." No, I had her back even as she was knifing mine. One morning I walked in to work and got in to a particularly good snarking match with her. She FLIPPED out and started screaming at me that I was a paranoid freak bitch who didn't deserve any friends and she couldn't understand why anyone would ever want to be my friend either. Four months later we were both let go but she continued to work for that company for free because she "believed in" the boss. I never understood this given what she would tell me about him. WHAT.EVER. I don't truly hate anyone but this woman? She ranks pretty high up there on the dislike scale. (And if you read this sweetheart, if you find this blog somehow? I bailed you out countless times and let you and everyone else think you'd done it right to begin with. I had your back you bitch. I hope karma strikes back hard on your cold bitchy heart.)

Now? Now I work from home and despite being grossly underpaid for what I do, I do like my job so I don't have any other complaints. I don't have to deal with stupid, catty, insecure, bitchy women either. But I do miss the office chatter so I gravitate to Twitter and keeping the TV on to fill the silence. It's good now.

So I believe everyone who has held a job in some capacity has SOME story to vent about their workplace. Vent away! It's Girl Talk Thursday and we want to know!!