Wednesday, November 3, 2010

The Space Between

It starts as a tiny blur in my vision. And I blink, rub my eyes, hold my breath and look again.

Then there is dread, panic, nausea. It is fear, and loathing. I am powerless to stop it completely.

I rush to ingest the meds. The cocktail of drugs, prescription and over the counter pain relievers, that eventually bring relief.

And I wait. I wait with my eyes closed for the aura to pass and the world to focus.

I wait for the rolling waves of nausea to stop as I will the dry heaves to remain dry heaves because I hate to vomit.

Then the pain starts, throbbing inside head, crashing in to my skull as I try counter-pressure techniques to hold my head in place.

I am lost somewhere in the space between consciousness and sleep, in a time warp of deep meditative breathing and controlled visualizations. I float on the surface of water, above, and somehow outside, the weighted pain that threatens to pull me under and consume me.

Eventually I am functional. Just functional though, until the migraine hangover releases its grip and I am back in control again.