Wednesday, September 21, 2011

I didn't think we needed these lessons

Dear Other Parents Raising Boys,

A couple months ago I sent the boys out to the garage to get in the car, like every morning, and about 2 seconds later I walked out and hit the garage door button to open it. What I didn't expect to happen next was to see my Bear holding on to the garage door, riding it up to the top. Had I turned back to grab anything on the counter I truly believe he would have fallen from the top because I had to reach over my head to lift him down.

Lesson #1 - Tell your boys not to ride garage doors when they are opening.

Today when I picked Bear up from school his teacher had this smile on her face and said she had something to tell me. She prefaced the story by saying Bear was not in trouble and she was only telling me in case it came up in conversation tonight. (It didn't.) And then she smiled again and stopped making eye contact with me.

Right after lunch today he told her he needed to go poop. So he rushed down the hallway with her a few strides behind him. By the time she rounded the corner Bear already had pooped. SITTING ON THE URINAL. The URINAL. So this teacher had to explain to him that poop goes on the other potty and the urinal was only a pee-pee potty. My poor sweet almost 4 year old Bear just looked at her and said "Why?" In his mind it was the right height, had a little lip to perch on, and was the closet thing available to sit on and shit in. Of course, this wonderful teacher was blown away by the awesomeness of his single word question and could only laugh and say "well, because that's how it's supposed to be." The poor woman had to scoop out my son's poop from the urinal today friends. Thankfully she told me that my Bear was NOT the first 3 year old boy to have done this, but he was the first who did it to her.

I might have died a little from a combination of laughter and mortification.

Lesson #2 - Teach your boys that pee-pee, poop and vomit goes on the sitting potty but only pee-pee goes in the stand-up potty.

You're welcome.