Monday, February 27, 2012

Calm

Things have been good lately. Really good. Our family is happy, healthy and growing. My new job is so much better than my old one. We have a great routine. To some it might seem boring and sometimes, even to us, it is a little boring. But it's comfortable and safe, and it's what I always imagined life was supposed to be like when you grew up, got an education and a job, bought a house and had kids. It's a good place.

But sometimes I find myself holding my breath. How long can the good last? It wasn't too long ago when we were down. And as far as I can look back in to my memories life has been a sine wave of highs and lows. So I am not so deluded to think that this high can last forever. I think it's the natural balance of life, so I expect more lows; and maybe with the wisdom of age and the clarity of hindsight I can weather the next cycle easier. I don't know. I hope so.

So now I'm writing this down to remind myself, whenever that low does come, that there will always be another high, probably better than even now - because again, as I file through my memories I only see life getting better each time. I just need to keep my head up, my mind somewhat rational (ha!) and open, and just relax a little.

I'll probably hate myself later when I need to be reading this. :)

I just need to be mindful.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Hatred Starts At Home. (insert - big fat frowny face)

A couple months ago I was volunteering in ChatterBug's classroom for their annual holiday party right before Winter Break. While the kids were in Music class another mother and I set up the plates and cookies and drinks. As we were placing the cookies the teacher rushed over to tell us not to put the Hanukkah cookies on this one girl's plate. I was a little puzzled as they were just sugar cookies with a frosting Star of David on them. So you know me, I asked her why.

Earlier that morning this little girl told all the kids in the class not to eat the cookies another girl brought in because Jewish people put poison in them. It went back and forth for a little while and resulted in both girls crying hysterically, then calls going home to both families at lunch time. It turns out the first little girl's family practices a religion that does not tolerate Judaism. The teacher handled the situation as beautifully as I could have hoped and later the two girls were the best of friends again on the playground. But I went home that day and cried.

In this day, in the face of bullying, horrific crimes and nonsensical destruction of decency, which the majority of people believe is worth preventing or stopping, why are we perpetuating hatred at home? That is where this starts; But it should never start to begin with, at least in my opinion.

Just today ChatterBug was in one of his obsessive "The Gators are way better than the Seminoles" moods (I mean no kidding, right? But...) and commented "I can't believe I had to play basketball with a SEMINOLE today." SIGH. So I had to have a conversation about how our family likes the Gators but other families like the Seminoles and it was ok and we don't have to be obnoxious about it (unless you're at a football game and all, I left that out) and we can still be friends with and like people who like different things from us. This led to a series of "Why?" questions (I thought that ended at three years old?) which resulted in "if we were all the same Bug, it'd be BORING."

Sports metaphors for acceptance? I don't know. This is serious stuff. How can you teach your children to hate others based on their religion, skin color, sexual orientation, sports team... or even arm length, eye color, hair color, or other arbitrary trait or choice? It makes me sick and so very, very sad.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Life Happens

So it's been a while. A long while but that's ok. I must still have a lot to say though, because certainly despite Hubs thinking I fall asleep easily (which I guess I do), I don't sleep well. And that's partly because my brain doesn't turn off and I think through everything over and over again, and partly because I'm pregnant again. Baby Man #3 (how am I going to feed 3 teenage boys?) is on his way later this year!

In other news Bug, who really isn't a Bug anymore, more like a Chatterbox, is in Kindergarten, loving it, rocking it and owning it. But he. does. not. stop. talking. It's my karmic payback. My first report card ever has the comment "talks too much" on it. Thankfully his did not. It said he was a sweet child who is eager and enjoyable. Well no kidding. He's obsessed with Metroid (Thanks Hubs) even requesting Metroid cupcakes for his 6th birthday in December, and would happily play the xBox all day if we let him. Luckily he loves playing sports too, and watching football, so we find balance somehow. Recently he has discovered how cool Legos are. That might be due to our recent trip to Legoland, FL or the slew of cool legos he received for his birthday. Ninjago Masters of Spinjitzu books and TV shows also help. I don't need to read the instructions to games or homework to him anymore, and he can color in the lines now too, something he could have cared less about at the start of Kindergarten. He has an overactive imagination which he is sort of afraid of, but he's prone to randomly running up to me to kiss my belly and talk to his baby brother.

My little Bear is not so little anymore either. He turned 4 last November and we had a fun Angry Birds birthday party for him. He is turning out to be an epic storyteller, not in the lying to get out of trouble way, just that he's really good at details and thinking through what "should" happen next. It started a while ago with us looking a the globe pointing out where we've been, where we live, etc. Suddenly it was "I've been there, to Canada. It's cold there and I go to work there in my little blue car. You can call me at work but I won't miss you Mommy because I'll be busy and I might not have a telephone that day when you decide to call." And it's progressed in to "Today I flew my helicopter to work. I park it at my home at night before I come to your house. Sometimes I work in China and that's a long way to fly. I have to stop for gas sometimes so I can make it. I don't want to fall in the water." This drives Bug CRAZY. Just last night he was all like "Mom, he's using his IMAGINATION AGAIN! WHEN will he learn?!" Meanwhile Bear says "No, it's real. You just don't see it" in a "too bad so sad" tone of voice. Bear is still insistent on being first in line or winning races but now that he's started basketball he is beginning to understand team work better. He is absolutely my snuggle bum and still loves to drink "Warm Milk a bunch a bunch" when he wakes up in the morning. I don't know when that will stop but it's not in a bottle or anything so I really don't mind. He's also only a half inch shorter than Bug was on Bug's 5th birthday. I predict him to be taller than Bug in just a couple years at this rate.

Hubs and I are celebrating our 9th wedding anniversary today too. Nine years, holy cow it's flown by. We had a sonogram this morning and it was great to see Baby Man moving all around making it extra difficult for the tech to measure the heart stuff. This does not bode well for our not-too-distant future as I foresee this child being the most stubborn. Regardless it was a special anniversary gift to see our baby. We were planning to go out to dinner tonight with the kids to celebrate until Bug started throwing up EVERYWHERE a little while ago. So in true married fashion we're going to order pizza and snuggle our kids, laugh it off and just be incredibly happy looking around at the kick ass life we've made for ourselves. I kind of think it's perfect actually.