Thursday, June 4, 2009

Booze Me Baby

In the latest installment of Girl Talk Thursday... Booze.

The first time I got drunk was my high school senior graduation party. (Um, Mom & dad - yeah that cat's out of the bag now). I got drunk on two Zimas. I can't believe I just admitted that. Zima - that sprite like thing with minimal alcohol that people who didn't want to drink beer drank.

I actually didn't have alcohol again until college. And not even then until later in my first year when the people in our karate club used to have parties almost every weekend. Well, parties back then were just everyone getting together anyways and there'd be beer there. I have some ridiculous photos of me drunk off my ass with people I am still friends with today. I remember drinking a beer at one party, thinking I was totally badass that I'd moved on from Zima, and my friend Joyce was talking to this guy Ray and I started talking to them. Ray asked how I got involved in karate and Joyce told me he was a lawyer in Jacksonville. I remember saying "really? what exactly do you specialize in?" And Ray busts out "well I'm the Assistant Deputy for the State Attorney's office. Here's my police badge." (no, no, no, not the assistant TO the deputy for the state attorney's office...) And I slowly stooped down and "secretly" put my beer bottle on the step behind me. I was 19. Anyways, Ray laughed and said he couldn't arrest me because I was out of his jurisdiction. Woo! And then, years later, still friends, he composed a piano piece for my husband and I and played it in the church as I walked down the aisle to be married.

At one of those same parties my freshman year Joyce introduced me to tequila shots. I learned to lick, shoot, suck with the best of them and thought I was totally hot for being able to do it. A few shots later I looked at Joyce and said "wow. I'm hot. I must have tequila hot." I was so drunk and sweating like a fool in the spring Florida humidity. But it was tequila hot and we still laugh about that to this day. Some day too we'll shoot tequila at this girls' weekend we plan on taking whenever the money tree grows out back. Spa, massages, indulgent food and tequila. J, V - you ready??

That same freshman year (God I sound like a lush) I also learned to shoot vodka. That didn't last long because that stuff is NASTY. But when the Village People did a free concert outside my dorm in one of the fields I got drunk with my friends shooting vodka in my dorm room and then watching weird construction people sing the YMCA. I have never shot vodka since then.

There have only been a handful of occasions that I have gotten really drunk since my freshman year of college. I don't know what happened. I guess I wised up, got serious about school, all that stuff. One of those times was at my sister's wedding. Her friend Dave from high school thought it'd be a riot to get Sharon's little sister drunk from Screwdrivers. DRUNK. So drunk I took the microphone from the DJ because I thought I could do better and I danced around interviewing guests at the wedding and then revealing to everyone that my cousin Erick REALLY, REALLY, REALLY liked the girl he'd brought with him as his guest to the wedding - they'd been dating on a month or so. Oh Molly - I'm so glad you ended up marrying him and are now Alex's God-mother. And I'm sorry I spilled that drink on your beautiful cream colored dress. After the wedding my other cousin Kristin walked me around the horse pastures in my purple bridesmaid dress to try to sober me up before a long car ride. I pet the horses... in high heels and a purple bridesmaid dress. I. pet. the. horses.

Ok last drunk story - I know, we all have drunk stories... um, right?! Several years ago, before hubby and I had kids we drove up to my parents house for the weekend of my Dad's birthday. Sunday morning we were going to brunch at this fancy (EXPENSIVE) place in St. Augustine with our dear family friends to celebrate. Well with nothing to do Saturday night we all decide to play Scrabble. And drink. My parents. Us. Wine. Nearly 4 bottles of White Zin plus an entire bottle of Bailey's Irish Creme. The big one. It was by far the funniest game of Scrabble I've ever played. Towards the end of the 4th bottle of wine my Dad would fill up the four glasses by pulling them all together in a circle and just sort of sloshing the bottle around as it got everywhere. It was hilarious. The best part was my Mom. I guess she hit her wall or the room started to spin or something because very suddenly she declared "I have to go to be now. Right now." And with that she got up and left the kitchen table. 5 minutes later I decided to check on her and she was surprisingly changed in to pajamas, in bed and snoring. She was very hung over the next day. And didn't really enjoy our fancy-shmancy brunch.

Now - well now we keep our fruit and veggies drawer in the fridge stocked with an assortment of whichever beer is on sale that week. You got that? No fruits & veggies, beer. It's usually New Castle, Amberbach or Coronas. We have one or two in the week and maybe one or two on the weekends. We really don't drink much at all. If we are going some place special, like an open-bar wedding or something I'll order a vodka and cranberry juice. And, shamelessly - I really like Arbor Mist cheap-ass wine. It goes down like punch. Yes, I just admitted that too. Zima and Arbor Mist - in the same post. Gah!!



simsim June 4, 2009 at 10:44 PM  

I would like to go on record to say it was either Pete or Jude that gave you the Tequila and not me!!! So, Loraine and Neil, while I may have coined the phrase "tequila hot" it was only after the fact...I did not give your underage child alcohol.

simsim June 4, 2009 at 10:54 PM  

Oh...and you forgot about the Halloween when you went out with Pete & Marc...See there's that Pete again!!

Annette June 4, 2009 at 11:49 PM  

I loved Zimas! I would totally still buy them if they were available.

Anonymous June 5, 2009 at 6:58 AM  

Sounds like you had a lot of fun. I can't believe you drank with your parents!

Jinxy June 5, 2009 at 12:32 PM  

Those are some great drunk stories.

I never had a taste for Zima but I like Mike's hard cranberry.

Jade June 5, 2009 at 12:48 PM  

Hahaha I remember you telling me that story of drinking with your parents. I'm going to pass on the tequila and put Jen in my place (she's a tequila girl). But we'll bring the booze regardless.

VERNACULAR June 5, 2009 at 10:18 PM  

How hilarious is it that you now swear away vodka because of the strange inebriational shudder of watching the YMCA?!

I like that you went anecdotal for this one.

VERNACULAR June 5, 2009 at 10:21 PM  

Also. You are now my sister of purple dressed bridesmaid-to-sister shame. Me, too! Sloppily drunk at my sister's wedding. I did embarrass myself slightly less than you seem to have. ;o)

Curves in the Road June 6, 2009 at 3:46 PM  

Love the story about playing drunk scrabble with your parents!
I too admit that I love Arbor Mist! LOL It's tradition if my SIL and I visit to each other's houses to bring a bottle of Arbor Mist along :)

Maria Melee June 18, 2009 at 10:40 PM  

OHhhhhhhhhh just say no to Arbor Mist. Headachee!!!!