Sunday, June 7, 2009


I really don't know when I heard this saying first - but it has stuck with me through the years.

To have friends you must first be a good one.

I mean, doesn't this make sense? So , how do you know who deserves to have your friendship to begin with? Kind of chicken vs. egg question I think. And what happens when, despite your best efforts to be a good, true, and honest friend, someone else doesn't want to be friends with you?

Blah, it sucks. But you move on. I've learned you can't stop being who you are and why should you compromise your own integrity for the sake of befriending someone who doesn't have the same values and beliefs as you? In the end you end up giving more of yourself and are never refueled in return. So the lesson you have to learn, and apply often so as not make the same mistake over and over again, is to figure out the fakes and the frauds for the true blues. It takes a little trial and error but in the end you will end up happier to walk away sooner. Screw the whole "keep your friends close and your enemies closer." (well, unless it's business and you have no clear choice.) Surrounding yourself with your enemies is dangerous for your heart. Friendship, not just friendly interactions, is a two-way street and the people who just sit around and have others flock to them are the people you should run like hell from. Besides, when you can stop running and really look around, you'll probably find all your really NEED right there under your nose.

I hope my children will accept this lesson before they are 32 years old. I will teach them to be true, honest and loyal friends to the people who deserve them. And I hope to teach them how to pick out the phonies before they invest too much of their time, effort and love. Oh this thing called parenting. It's so damn hard. I know they will have to experience life on their own. They'll have to learn some of this on their own. But I am doing everything I can to not set them up for failure.

I love, honor and cherish my true blue friends. You all ROCK the planet and I'll be there for you every step of this life journey we're on.


Jinxy June 8, 2009 at 2:30 PM  

Friends are hard, I have found. I have wasted so many years on bad friends because I thought they were better then they were. I try really hard now to weed out the users early on. It still doesn't always work, but I'm getting better at it.