Saturday, July 4, 2009

Bye Bye Bump

So, if you're going to have surgery for anything, this was the way to go. Aside from the dead arm until 3:30am the next morning (from the nerve block) it was no big deal. The dead arm was kind of funny though. I had my arm in a sling and if I reached down for anything my arm would slip out and sort of hang there. I hated that. I also hated how HEAVY my arm was. Holy smokes it was crazy.

So here is the before picture of Mr. Bump...


And here is my battle wound. The purple lines are where the doctor drew on my arm with a purple sharpie marker.


There were a lot of amusing things going on in the surgical clinic that day. For instance, the doctor marked my upper arm with a red sharpie with the date and his initials. Apparently that was the mark for which arm they were supposed to operate on. EVERY doctor or nurse who saw me kept asking "where's your mark?" Funny thing was it was completely hidden by my hospital gown. I should have written "Don't cut this arm off" on my right side before I got there just to see what they'd say. Hindsight... I'm telling you, they obviously mark for a reason.

The nurse who (attempted to) put in my IV played at roto-rootering my veins in my hand for a while. Two times she could start the needle in the vein but couldn't thread it past the valve (which she blamed on me). Both times HURT LIKE HELL but I didn't flinch, just contored my face. She ended up having to call the senior nurse on staff that day over to put the IV in my inner elbow, the place where the doctors hate to have it. And let me tell you, every doctor was like "Why is your IV up here? That makes it so much more difficult." Damn, SORRY! I'm valvey apparently.

My anethesiologist was named "Dr. Feir" pronouced "fear." That was cool. Last year the first year resident of note was "Dr. Killman." This surgical center needs to screen their candidates better me thinks.

Every doctor and nurse tried to push more drugs on me. I swear they were hard core dealers there. No I just want a nerve block. "WHAT? Are you SURE?! How about for the nerve block? That can be VERY painful. How about a mild sedative to help wtih that?" I finally caved and let them administer the mildest dose of sedative possible, which was 1/4 the strength of a regular dose for my body size. And then the doctor stood around and said "well, she didn't want any more so keep an eye on her." Yes, the nerve block stung, for like 15 seconds and it was waaaay less awful then the nurse who roto-rooted my veins. And I didn't have sedation for that you freaks!

The actual surgeon only worked of my for 15 minute and later told my husband that the bump "popped right out." I got to see it in the jar while they were closing the incision. It was way cool. It looked like the biggest booger you've ever seen in your life. Maybe dinosaur booger size. Yeah, that'd be close.

I left the center 30 minutes after leaving the OR and we were home a few hours later. Yesterday I had some pain, pretty much when Bear stuck his fingers in to the dressing (he was so fast!). We took the dressing off last night and today I'm fine. I even went running. I just can't swim for two weeks which totally sucks.

So that's it. Bump gone. I'm excited to have a normal looking arm again. Well, they did shave half my arm so it looks silly now. I'm debating on doing the rest of my arms with the Smooth Away hair remover, since I told Maria I'd write a review for it for Your Mama Reviews. Good timing, no?

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Amy July 4, 2009 at 5:44 PM  

I'm so glad your surgery went well- I'm sure it feels good yo have it be over Nd all taken care of. And no anesthesia? You are a MACHINE! You're tough like Jillian!:)

Kristin and Chris July 4, 2009 at 9:48 PM  

When Isla was born one of the technicians who took my blood was named Elvira.

JosiahsMommy July 5, 2009 at 4:20 AM  

Lol. I love it when nurses blame not starting an IV on the patient. It's just so funny. It's obviously not (usually) the patients fault, but it's much like a waitress who blames the mistake on the kitchen.