Sunday, October 18, 2009

On Trust and Doubt

Ok so I hate to write about this subject because everyone is and wow, let's jump on a beaten horse and flog it some more.

Here's linky #1 from Nic - someone I have followed since April and have supported.
Here's linky #2 from the TSA - proven necessary evil in today's society

Now I officially am providing trackbacks for trolls and I hate that.

This is my space in the world. My thoughts. My words. I own this space, my feelings, my words. Go away if you don't like it.

When I got involved in this virtual world of blogging and twitter I had major doubts. And it took a few months for me to warm up to it (now I love it). It also took me a while to find a core group of people I love to talk to, I look forward to talking to, people I genuinely care about. I read their stories and I love them, truly love them.

And I still love them after this theatrical performance. But there is this shadow of doubt now in our community. Now I wonder who out there is real, who isn't. Worse? I have doubts about my own instincts. Did I support her and it was a farce from the beginning? How did I miss that?

Screw that.

We are just words out here, pictures, compositions of ourselves in this virtual space. We're human with human faults and insecurities. And all we can do is hope that in our honesty, others are honest too. Yes some of us blog/tweet for fame and fortune. Some of us just want a place to decompress. Others still need support and friendship and seek only the comfort of acceptance. I believe everyone needs to feel like they belong somewhere. The list goes on as to why we put ourselves out here. And I think we accept each other at face value. Why else shouldn't we?

Oh wait.

This doubt now? It's vile.

I wish Nic the best. I hope she finds the help, love and support she needs to get through this. Until then I worry for her, for her family, and for the rest of my friends out there who are far more affected by this than I am.

Also? My trust has never been given lightly and I rarely give it back when it's cracked.

I hate that I have to say that out loud.